about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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