I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
