I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
