Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
