There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
