I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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