shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
