Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
