my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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