If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
