What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
