i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
