I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
