she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
