i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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