I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
