butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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