FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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