did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
