If i come over, it means nothing
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
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