What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
