some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
