Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
