we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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