on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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