So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
