Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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