The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
