i permit you to call me
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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