i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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