What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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