mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
