Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
