i'm signing you up for texting rehab
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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