Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
