there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
