break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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