The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
