i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
