oh fat girl friday strikes again...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
