Please, let me fuck your mom
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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