My balls are so social today.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
