If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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