i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
