I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
