I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
