NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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