So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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