Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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