my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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