I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
