I only kidnapped one of them. chill
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
